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Self Fulfilling Prophecies – Making your Future Better – Part 1

September 19th, 2008 · 7 Comments · 02 My thoughts Positive

I was reading a very interesting article by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen and thought I would share it with you. It’s a very good article, one with which I concur.

What you believe will come true because you will subconsciously and consciously act in ways that cause the event to happen. Self fulfilling prophecies are powerful. ~ from Laurie’s article.

What caught my attention the most in Laurie’s article is the fact that negative beliefs are far more powerful and likely to come true. When I think about it, I can’t help but agree. I think for those with ADHD this situation is even more serious due to the reactions and actions of society towards us and our extensive capacity to visualize our dreamscapes and nightmares.

Many ADDers have been criticized since a very young age and therefore negative thinking has become a part of our being, where each and every thought is weighed with reluctance and fear. What trouble will I be in today – what will I say wrong – who will try to hurt me today – who will not accept me for who I am – why do I inspire jealousy and envy or why do people want to hate me first and ask questions later?

The list is endless. To us, these questions are rational and often considered a matter of survival. The reality is that by asking ourselves these questions we can draw these things to us by our actions and reactions there of. 

Still, the argument is strong, you know it’s not hard to see the reactions of society towards ADDers – observe for a while the way an ADDer is treated, it doesn’t take very long and we can spot the actions and reactions both negative and positive clearly. It’s not imagined, even in the news you can read it daily, just example my ‘bored‘ article from the other day or several other articles I have quoted from news sources where ADDers are taken to task simply because they have the diagnosis. There’s a word I am looking for here…

It’s kind of hard to think positive and have a positive forward outlook when almost every article which comes out in the news about those with ADHD is telling us how dreadful we have it and how future success for those ‘afflicted’ with ADHD is lower than the rest of society not ‘afflicted’ with ADHD. Sorry Michael Phelps, Richard Branson, Albert Einstein and the countless others of abundant success with ADHD – you all are exceptions to the rule and the rule is law… so they say.

We have those who try to make it harder for us by being offended by our very existence – that includes some ADDers against ADDers. Jealousy, envy or just plain meanness and intolerance, the pretext doesn’t matter, but the cause and effect does matter.

And let’s not forget about… As if that is not enough… no, actually, that is enough! For Pete’s sake alive – give us a break.

First, though, we need to give ourselves a break.

 

The reason self fulfilling prophecies are more apt to come true when they are negative is because they require very little work and seems as though society is predisposed to assist us with pessimistic suppositions. If you think about it, thinking positive has many critics even for people without any learning disorder, countless thousands crying out to those who would dare to think positive, to have aspirations beyond their current status quo.
 
But it does not have to be that way. It just doesn’t.

In my memoir there are several very important themes and the one constant theme, which is most important throughout the pages of my book, is that one must learn to think positive, using the “Special Feeling” inside, which I believe we all have. Without positive thinking you would not be reading this, my book or know that I exist.

The point is simple. Positive thinking is about you. Positive thinking is about me. Positive thinking is NOT about them. Only you can control your thoughts and your actions. Only you have the power to overcome and succeed. It doesn’t matter what your circumstances are – it just doesn’t. It’s all about you.

Negative beliefs and thinking can be so ingrained into our systems that we do not even realize the harmful power those thoughts have over us or that they are there to begin with. When I first sought therapy I had no clue what Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was, I did not understand depression and I had never considered ADHD to be anything more than a childhood issue and I only had a faint awareness at that. Therapy helped me see my thoughts for what they were, to hear them out loud and understand their devastating effects on my past, present and future.

Self fulfilling prophecies work on a very simple foundation. Simple, yes, but oh so very powerful! If you believe in something enough, then your subconscious and conscious mind will work in that direction. Just remember though, what you think and what you believe is within your power to control be it negative, positive, pessimistic or encouraging. It’s up to you. Your reaction to this knowledge can help you realize this for yourself. This does not give you the power to control others, but it does give you the power to feel good about yourself at all times.

Take a stand for yourself. If you are upset and disgusted by the negative actions and reactions by society and some in the news media towards ADDers then the best thing you can do is take control of you, because if they control you then you will never be free and your destiny will still be the result of not them, but rather yourself. Don’t think I know? Read about my life in my memoir and you will understand how negative and self depreciated I once was. No, I am not free of negativity and ramifications, but I have control over my thoughts and considerations.

Create your future today, be positive and things can work out the way you design them. Treat others as you would have them treat you. If someone treats you badly or with disrespect, remember to treat them with kindness and respect in return. I believe our thoughts and character are a product of karma, you get what you give. What do you think?

There is a lot of good information about ADHD on the web and a lot of supportive people who care. Surround yourself with positive voices and positive feedback. It will infect you with good humor, cheer and positive thoughts – but, only if you let it – which as I have pointed out, works the other way as well. It’s your choice. It’s your freedom ~ The Bryan Code.

~Bryan

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7 Comments so far ↓

    Lisa

    Another great blog, Bryan.

    I like that quote up there by the superlady. There have been “good” restrictions, real or imagined, that have kept me alive…..out of jail….. and still married.

    I heard a guy say on TV “What you beleive about yourself, will set the limits for your life.”

    This is very true I think. Although I am very familiar with “thoughts becoming things” I struggle with keeping my thoughts positive and not allowing them to revert to “default” negative.

    I never will give up though. I like the expression, “Don’t quit before the miracle happens.”

    Cara

    Cool topic Bryan. I was thinking about this stuff lately myself.
    A few years ago my therapist suggested a book for me to read. I thought I had read every self-help book there was and that point they all sounded the same to me. But just in the first chapter of this I realized my therapist knew this would connect with me. The book is exactly about your topic of self fullfilling prophecies, a way to visualize positive outcomes and in turn have that butterfly effect on society by always having those priorities at the back of your mind. The book was very helpful for me and I highly recommend it to anyone (expecially ADDers which is why I have been thinking about this book lately). It’s called “Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting: The Astonishing Power of Feelings” by Lynn Grabhorn.
    http://www.amazon.com/Excuse-Your-Life-Waiting-Astonishing/dp/1571743812/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1221936136&sr=8-1

    Since I have read this, I have seen several other books come out with the same or similar concept. But I have not seen this one get the credit it deserves.

    Bryan

    Thanks Cara! Actually, I think Norman Vincent Peale was on to this even earlier.

    I am going to order that book and look forward to reading it! I might even review it here and give it some attention.

    Bryan

    Bryan

    Yes, Lisa, certainly will!

    NerdyMommy

    Good topic Bryan… I’m a firm believer that attitude is everything! I always tell everyone… You can’t control XXXXX, but you CAN control your reaction to it! How we act and react to life is pretty much the only thing we can control about it!!! It’s a choice to be positive, and it’s a choice to be negative. I choose Positive!

    Cara

    Geez, I cannot believe how atrocious my spelling has become in this past month! “expecially”??? my brain playing too many tricks on me lately…time for more positive thinking.

    Bryan

    Thanks Nerdy Mommy – Very Good Choice Indeed!

    Cara, I thouht your misspelling was on purpose, for a specific reason :-) or maybe I didn’t even notice it, but I noticed it now :-)

    There are some who think blogs should be more careful of spelling and grammer, but I think blogs and other new ways of communicating online and via phones is changing the way we use spelling and grammer – OMG – that could be true lol!

    Bryan

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